What do you do when you’re feeling anxious?

Do you take a few deep breaths to try to calm down? That’s what we’ve been told to do, right? How is that working for you?

Over time, are you becoming a calmer person? Or does that anxiety just keep popping up for you, over and over, day after day? And why does it do that?

Could it be because you haven’t dealt with the cause of the anxious feelings?

Psychologists tell us that your feelings are actually information. It’s your body trying to tell you something.
So I think the worst mistake you can make when you feel anxious is to just try to calm down.

You might feel anxious for a variety of reasons, including:
– Physical reasons, e.g. You are actually in danger.
– Chemical reasons, e.g. You’ve drunk too much caffeine.
– Physiological reasons, e.g. You didn’t get enough sleep.
– Emotional reasons, e.g. Someone is trying to manipulate you.
– Habitual reasons, e.g. You have a habit of feeling anxious.

So, next time you feel anxious, here is a process you could try:
1) Are you in physical danger? If you are, get moving! Go somewhere safe.

2) Be curious. No judgement. What is going on inside your body right now? Try to give the feeling a name. For example, are you feeling overwhelmed, experiencing stress, or nervousness? Naming the feeling will help you to see what’s going on for you.

3) Imagine stepping back, and say “Something in me is feeling …” and name the feeling. This helps you to get a little perspective. Not all of you is feeling this feeling. For example, your little toe might be quite relaxed!

4) Now ask – What is your body trying to tell you? Here are some examples …
a. Have you had too much caffeine or sugar? Maybe try drinking a glass or two of water. That might help to dilute these chemicals in your body.
b. Are you a bit low on sleep? A little nap might give you enough energy to get through your day
c. Are you concerned about something or someone? What can you do now that you are aware of your concern?

5) Thank your body for what it has told you.

6) Finally, let go of the anxious feelings. Now it’s time to take those slow calming breaths.

Once you get the hang of this process, I encourage you to do it quickly. Don’t wallow in your feelings. Get curious, listen, learn, let go and move on.

I have found that there is so much wisdom in my feelings, if I’m curious and open to accepting them with no judgement, and to explore what they want to teach me.

You can go deeper, exploring when you first felt that particular feeling, so you can understand where it came from. But in my experience, exploring feelings is best done with the guidance and support of a coach or therapist. If you want support to explore and understand your feelings, and then create a new pathway towards healing and wholeness, let me know. I love coaching women to live with greater emotional freedom.

Remember – Your feelings are your body trying to give you information. It’s your choice how you respond. I encourage you to get curious, listen, learn, let go and move on!