After feeling shy and struggling to make friends in the last two years of high school, I decided to have a fresh start at uni. I deliberately looked around the lecture theatre and sat beside girls I didn’t know. On the station, waiting for the train, I recognised students who were in my maths class and went and talked to them. I looked around and joined lunchtime groups at uni too.

Stepping out of my shy comfort zone to do this was sometimes quite stressful, but I discovered that it was also sometimes fun. What helped was that there were things in common to talk about, such as our studies or the shared interest of the group. And one generous friend occasionally bought me lime milkshakes, which was a new delight.

Each year I would join different lunchtime groups, and each year I’d get better at talking to strangers and making friends. By my last year at uni, I made friendships which have lasted a lifetime.

As I look back on my time at uni, I’m so grateful for the friends I made there, and the social skills and courage I developed in the process.

Learning any skill in life comes easily for some people and takes lots of practice for other people. And I discovered that, for me, maths came easily whereas making friends took practice. And I discovered that I had the determination to keep on trying, learning and trying again.

I have since read that, to develop confidence, you need to feel the fear and act anyway. My determination helped me to do this.

I wonder what you want to change? And how determined are you to make that change?

Know that I’m cheering you on, as you face your fears and practice being different anyway. You’ve got this!